A new week, a new batch of horror releases to talk about. First we have Caesar & Otto’s Paranormal Halloween. Ugh, what a waste. A horror comedy can be good when done right, but this one is just completely lame. It opens up totally ripping off Halloween then just continues downhill. This is my second Caesar & Otto film and I’m clearly not a fan. I don’t find them funny and their acting is terrible. This is full of horror clichés and is trying really hard to poke fun at the genre, but it’s simply not funny or entertaining. It’s so bad at one point in the movie, they stop and read reviews of Caesar & Otto projects and they are all negative. I get that going meta is the thing to do today, but when you are terrible, reading terrible things people say about you isn’t funny. Horror mocking movies have run their course, avoid this completely.
Next we have Charlie’s Farm. It has Kane Hodder in it, positive! It also has Tara Reid in it, not so positive! I will give it credit for not trying to be anything more than what it is, but unfortunately that’s about all it has going for it. It’s your standard story about people visiting an area surrounded by urban legends. Allegedly Charlie still lives there after having a terrible upbringing and lots of bad things happening. The town folk want nothing to do with the area, but of course that brings people wanting to go there. It feels like every other similar film and has a super gross scene involving Hodder and a part of him I never wanted to see. Nathan Jones plays a solid Charlie, but I wish there was more to it and had better actors besides Jones and Hodder. Horror diehards have seen far worse, but don’t expect a cult classic.
Third we have Some Kind of Hate. At first you don’t think it’s a horror film, but it ends up that way. Another pretty standard story for the most part and plays on the whole bullying nonsense of today. A kid gets bullied, he finally fights back and ends up in a correctional type place for young kids with issues. There he continues to get bullied, but a love interest turns him around. But there’s a twist and kids start dying and maybe ghosts are involved. There’s a paranormal element and the lead doesn’t understand what’s happening. The people running the program seem to have secrets and ultimately I just didn’t care for it. I hate how they make bullying an issue today and the kid bothered me. In fact most of the kids bothered me and I wanted them all dead. Not much to see here.
Fourth we have Bound to Vengeance. The film has some good gore and death scenes, but the story like the other movies is one we’ve seen many times before. A girl is kidnapped, tortured, raped and all that, escapes and wants revenge/vengeance. She kidnaps her kidnapper and tries to free other girls, but there’s a twist! Always a twist. There’s more to the story than meets the eye and maybe she wasn’t taken at random. It’s your typical woman taking the power back movie, but at least there’s a ton of blood which I liked. Not awful, but if you’ve seen similar, you’ve seen this. The action and violence works though.
Last we have Blood and Lace. The film is from 1971 and is about a girl whose prostitute mother is killed along with a john. She gets sent to an orphanage and she keeps having nightmares about a hammer and death. There’s a twist in the story, always a twist, you see coming a mile away and some side stories that really crosses the film up. The orphanage is a bad place with missing people. The handyman is super creepy and the woman running the place is a bitch. Plus the girl, Ellie, seems to have some hidden secrets of her own. Maybe 40 years ago this might have been taboo, but I thought it was pretty lackluster and predictable. The women in it are pretty hot, but there’s not enough blood and action. The opening killing and the tracking shot with the hammer is pretty awesome though.